Chatfic, Mary Sue Ideal Worlds

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

Today, emilyray and I had a long and hilarious conversation about our ideal Mary Sue fics.


elucreh: Did you know you're psychic?

emilyray: heee, am I? what did I do?

elucreh: You know the whole ice-dancer thing?
Did you know that Ryan actually used to play hockey?

emilyray: ahahahahahaha SERIOUSLY?
I did not know that!
omg Ryan on ice. yes please!

elucreh: I cannot picture it myself, but I totally trust my source
You are TUNED INTO RYAN'S MIND

emilyray: heeee. that explains my wardrobe.

...*bits where we discuss wireless problems and the band a friend of mine manages*...

emilyray: &mikeyway;
he is such a failboat
also, terribly attractive
(you can generally work out who I am most attracted to in a band by asking WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO BE MISTAKEN FOR A GIRL? it's a little bit of a problem.)

elucreh: Those are--those USED TO BE--the ones who were safest from me
It confused my enabler terribly

emilyray: *g*

elucreh: She's all, "YOU'RE BI! IT'S LIKE TWO GENDERS IN ONE!"

emilyray: heee. IT DOESN'T WORK QUITE LIKE THAT.
recently, actually, I am coming to see the appeal of boys who look like boys
Jon Walker has this rather nice white button-down shirt
which is slightly too tight on him
and om nom nom pecs
DEFINITION

elucreh: Recently I am coming to see the appeal of the ones that look like girls
I'm just CRANKY ABOUT IT
They weren't my type! Until I started to get to know their FICTIONAL PERSONAS
wtf
Clearly, for me, it is the personality

emilyray: heeeee. the FICTIONAL personality.

elucreh: Zackly

emilyray: I have no idea what it is for me. sometimes I would, and sometimes I wouldn't.
*zacks at you*

elucreh: *ravishes you*
Wait
Did you mean turn into Zack and look at me?

emilyray: heeeeee! *flutters eyelashes* but ma'am, this is so SUDDEN!

elucreh: You are terrible at this
Zack would never use ma'am
I have quite an elaborate fantasy scenario, so I am sure
One day, Zack's wife will leave him, or he'll leave her, or they'll break up mutually, whatever and once he's over that he will meet me

emilyray: :P
heeeee

elucreh: ...somehow...
and whisk me off to live a life of mutual cuddling and mocking his artists with love
It's going to be AWESOME

emilyray: ahahahaha, but will you be able to write fanfic when you KNOW THEM?

elucreh: MY CHARACTERIZATION WILL BE UNASSAILABLE

emilyray: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D
you can get them to beta for you!
they will read through their fingers! it can be punishment for all the times we've watched their interviews through OUR fingers

...*bit where I go off to do some laundry*...

elucrehThe betaing idea is awesome
it will be like a chore
Whenever they run off or do something stupid in public
Zack will say, Okay, so you're on Lu's beta duty for two weeks for going off on your own, Brendon
Make sure you catch all the comma splices and maybe I'll let you off before the weekend

emilyray: heee!
ahahahahahahahahahaha OMG.
Ryan is the WORST beta
he always tries to make you put in more metaphor

elucreh: YES

emilyray: and SYMBOLISM
and deeper themes

elucreh: RYAN! it's about your ass and Spencer's cock
THE SYMBOLISM IS NOT THAT DEE
P

emilyray: *cracks up*
Jon says, "oh, it's pretty deep."
Brendon cracks up. Spencer is so embarrassed. Ryan glares.
and then he says, "Me and Spencer is TOTES MEANINGFUL, okay. Needs more weather. :("

elucreh: Lu: *writes in more lightning when they fight just for Ryan*

emilyray: Then Spencer reads it over and he mutters, "too much weather. Never tell him I said that."
so you blame it on me!
when Ryan reads the final version and all the rainbow imagery at the climax of the porn is cut out.

elucreh: Ryan gets online to pout at you
By now they're all familiar with all my IM friends
He's all "but EM! It was so MEANINGFUL and ABSTRACT"

emilyray: and I just shake my head at the computer screen
because he is such a failboat.
(omg mary sue fantasies \o/)

elucreh: (this is the most fun mary sue fantasy ever)
And I go, Ryan, do I need to check for your dick again?
It's SEX
The ORGASM is more important than the SYMBOLISM
It's a PWP

emilyray: Ryan is all, you should write better stories. MAYBE I WILL WRITE SOME AND SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE.

elucreh: I'm all SURE!

emilyray: and then you have to beta Ryan's GSF! and talk him into cutting out the weather imagery YET AGAIN!

elucreh: If you want lots of reviews you should just undelete your old LJ account!

emilyray: except you can't really talk him into it
but you can talk his band into sexing him up until he stops caring

elucreh: Ryan just pouts at them at first
But Zack is very firm with him. "Go! Let Jon feel you up! Suck on Brendon for a little while! You'll feel better!"
And then he and I go off to cuddle

emilyray: ahahahahahaha

elucreh: And have awesome wallsex

emilyray: oh YOU

elucreh: We don't know it, but Ryan is pinned up against the wall
In the same spot but on the other side

emilyray: ...ooh.

elucreh: It's VERY SYMBOLIC

emilyray: *cracks up SO HARD*
&yourmarysuefantasies;

elucreh: They're AWESOME, aren't they?
I told you they were elaborate!

emilyray: hee, yes.

elucreh: Although the weather bits are all you, well done you

emilyray: *is tuned into Ryan's brain, as always*

elucreh: It's uncanny!
Maybe when he whines at you, he doesn't even have to do it over IM
Just, one day I'm typing to you
And in the next room Ryan says something about his pants
And then you say THE EXACT SAME THING to me on the computer
And I'm all...freaky

emilyray: ahahahahahahaha

elucreh: And then, after several more coincidences
We discover your PSYCHIC LINK
And now when Ryan wants you to take his side he just opens it up and talks to you

emilyray: *dies of laughter*

elucreh: Sometimes
He just PRETENDS to do this, and is all SEE EM IS ON MY SIDE

emilyray: but I insist he has to buy me scarves before I let him have the rainbow porn.

elucreh: But when I talk to you later you didn't actually SAY THAT

emilyray: heeee!

elucreh: He will buy you truly AWESOME scarves, Em
To bribe you
And when we come to Britain on tour
You'll come ride with us, and you and Ryan will scarf-swap and hat-shop together

emilyray: OMG AWESOME

elucreh: Only you'll do it in TOTAL SILENCE
and freak out the paparazzi

emilyray: ahahahahahahaha

elucreh: Because you're only talking inside your heads
The photographers are all very confused anyway
Because Ryan has this girl with him who he obviously adores--he takes her advice on clothes and EVERYTHING
But he never TALKS to her

emilyray: ahahahaha
and fandom is like
RYAN ROSSY'S SECRET TWIN
HOBVIOUSLY
and we are like ...if only it were that sane. secret psychic link ftw!

elucreh: I hope you know I'm posting this on my LJ
btw

emilyray: .....eeeek. hee.
DEAR FANDOM: IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING, I AM SORT OF LAME.

elucreh: I will flock it if you like

emilyray: I don't mind! they know I'm lame anyways.

elucreh: But it's not like we don't KNOW
About your failboaty AWESOMENESS
You are like Brendon's tattoo!

emilyray: hee. I am such a failboat, it is dreadful.
ahahahahaha BEST COMPARISON EVER
except... I actually quite like Brendon's tattoo
now it's got the flowers and everything. I THINK IT LOOKS NICE.

elucreh: So do I. Well, actually, I'm not SUCH a fan of the flowers
But I must be like the sole person in fandom who actually quite liked the piano

emilyray: without them it was kind of stark, I think.

elucreh: It is PRETTIER now

emilyray: hee, exactly. and I like pretty things. and flowers.
...*fangirls Ryan Ross*

elucreh: When Zack and I are married I will steal one of the pot mics and send it to you

emilyray: YAY

elucreh: I don't know, I kind of want to ask what everybody's Secret Mary Sue fantasy is.
If I turn out to be Zack's wife, and you are Ryan Rossy's seekrit brain twin

emilyray: well, we know Rachel's is being Brendon's secret sassy twin sister

elucreh: TRUE

emilyray: Ellen has like six at any one time

elucreh: What with her WRITING IT and everything

emilyray: I LOVE HER SO MUCH IT HURTS sometimes

elucreh: I KNOW
HOW CAN ANYONE NOT










So anyway: what's YOUR Mary Sue fantasy?

Comments

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

I believe you are referring to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQyFu6PXqYE)?

If I were part of their fictional lives, I'd be Ryan's psychotherapist. Because it takes a crazy to understand another crazy! Also emilyray, Ryan, and Mikeyway aren't failboats, they're STEALTH AWESOME. They only display their true virtues in private to a trusted few, lest they cause inferiority complexes in their peers.

In other news, I'm about to make a massive set of Bandom icons. Do you want a personalized one? And when I get around to writing the "How to write D&D in fiction" post, will you link others there? Nobody really knows me from Adam.

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

I wasn't, actually, I know someone who knows someone, but w00t for official proof!

You would be a fabulous psychotherapist for Ryan. I might ask you to do group work, though, because you handle me so well. ^_^ THEY ALL DESERVE YOU.

I can't think of any I'm after at the moment, although I always welcome new chances to look at pretty pictures of Greta. *G*

And of course, gladly!

[trinity_clare]

Have I mentioned that I'm actually WRITING my bandom Mary Sue fantasy? Or at least attempting to. It's like the sequel to The Time Traveler's Wife where I the girl ends up, like, randomly appearing in TAI's tour bus bathroom occasionally, except after Jon joins Panic she starts showing up on Panic's bus more often, and then one day she accidentally lets it slip that she and Jon are ~*together*~ in the future, and yeah. The best part is how she keeps getting Panic songs stuck in her head that haven't been written yet so she has to try not to sing them around the guys, but one day Ryan catches her singing Northern Downpour and that's why he keeps Jon from changing the melody when he eventually writes it.

THE FAILBOAT, IT HAS ARRIVED.

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

You're kind of my favorite person in the world, right now.

[trinity_clare]

The only thing getting in the way of the writing is that I'm attempting to use an actual character from the book instead of just Mary Sue, because the canons actually fit together, but every time I get a new idea for a scene or backstory or anything, it's...well, me. *FACEPALM*

[shihadchick.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAAA hilarious and made of WIN. *approves one thousand percent*

...also, the timing is super funny because not two days ago were Kat and I discussing Mary-Sue-ness to the extent of figuring out who would play which instrument in Rock Band in the fictional land in which we are totally friends with Zack and Panic. (Spencer has to play bass, Brendon has to drum, I'm on guitar and Kat is singing. Jon and Ryan are sitting in the back glowering and trying to look long-suffering. And probably also making out but we were pretending to not know about that. :D)

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

FOR THEIR SAKE, OF COURSE

[shihadchick.livejournal.com]

TOTALLY. We're just pretending that, like, we're not totally emotionally invested in their emotional stable eventual-OT4-some. Mostly there was a lot of quiet yenta-ing and Zack threatening us with bodily harm for making his life harder (but only in the short term! *grins*)

...not that this is only one of several more or less elaborate universes we maintain together OR ANYTHING. *shifty*

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

OF COURSE NOT *believes you just as much as you believe me about the not at all meaning it about wanting to cuddle Zack forever*

[shihadchick.livejournal.com]

WE'RE AS CONVINCING AS BRENDONS HETEROSEXUALITY! ...I mean. Something totally convincing! (...was that cheap? I SAY IT WITH LOVE. *pets Brendon* *a lot* *gets tackled by Zack* ...sigh.) And heeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :D

[princessbananas.livejournal.com]

DUDE. So weird, just now, before reading my flist for the day, I made a post in my journal about how I would never write Mary Sue fic for bandom because I so want to but am made of shame. And then I saw this post and I was like OMGWTFBBQ!

WIN!

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

I would think it more a coincidence except people keep saying "what a coincidence" so really I think we all just think about lot more about it than we admit!

[princessbananas.livejournal.com]

I love fangirls. We're all so "OH THAT'S MAI SEKRIT SHAME! LET ME TELL U ABOUT IT IN DETAIL!"

Seriously, I don't think I have any shame left.

Ok, I have a little bit of shame left because in my story, even though I know Brendon's sister's name, I couldn't use it and I changed all of his family members names because I felt so dirty.

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

That is totally understandable.

Wow. I thought I didn't have any lines left! Apparently I do!

[scoradh.livejournal.com]

MY CHARACTERIZATION WILL BE UNASSAILABLE

Brendon cracks up. Spencer is so embarrassed. Ryan glares.
and then he says, "Me and Spencer is TOTES MEANINGFUL, okay. Needs more weather. :("

*dies, a little*

Hmm, I think I'll be Ryan and Brendon's wedding planner. (What? I'd love to be a wedding planner. The endless hilarity!)

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

OMG I hope you are really good at handling bitchfits then, fr srs.

On the other hand, the pageantry!

[scoradh.livejournal.com]

Like a motherfucking PRO, excuse the french. :P

I KNOW RITE. THERE WOULD BE LIKE, FLOATS. AND NINE FEET ICE SWANS.