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lu_ficsI'm not sure I entirely remember what was supposed to happen, and anyway happy GSF!land is a hard place to travel to nowadays
In the end, Jon's only excuse will be that when Ryan told him? They were really, really, really high. Epically high. Worlds of fields of marijuana had died to achieve this level of stonery, and Jon thinks that this excuses any conclusions he jumped to.
When this is explained to him, Ryan will point out that this leaves Jon without an excuse for after they sobered up, but Jon doesn't really have an answer to that, except that in no universe has it ever made sense for Ryan to be in love with someone outside his band.
"He's really—really tiny, Jon," Ryan says languidly, trying (and failing) to blow heart-shaped smoke rings at the ceiling. "But he has these hips, right, and his neck looks awesome, it looks delicious, I want to snack on it all the time."
"Cool," Jon says, nodding exaggeratedly. In truth, he's become a little confused. Because the hips, the hips sound like Spencer, right, but Spencer isn't tiny, Spencer is, well, he's person-sized. And Brendon, Brendon is tiny, and he has an ass, Jon is so far from denying the ass, but hips not so much really, and he definitely doesn't know how to use them, not like Spencer.
"And when he plays--" Ryan breathes deep and holds the smoke for a minute. "When he plays I pretty much want to jump him right there in the middle of soundcheck. And his smile, Jon, his smile, I want him to smile all the time except when he's moaning my name. It lights up the whole world when he smiles."
And that doesn't help Jon at all, really it doesn't. He often wants to jump all of them on stage. While they're smiling. For all he knows, Ryan is talking about a crush on himself. Except Ryan really, really doesn't have hips. Like, at all. Jon doesn't know how Ryan sits down without cracking, like the song about hinges from his preschool days.
I'm all made of hinges cause everything BENDS from the top of my HEAD way down to my ENDS. I'm HINGES in FRONT and I'm HINGES in BACK, but I have to have HINGES or else I would--
"—I just, I don't know how to tell Brendon and Spencer, what do you think?"
Wait, what?
Jon's missed something.
There's a scene in here somewhere where Ryan is sober and refers to his boyfriend, and Jon is all, whoah, Ryan, didn't realise you'd created yourself an IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND who is the best of Brendon and Spencer all mixed together! I don't think you have to choose, dude, but if you're not man enough to speak up, whatever. Only in his head, so Ryan doesn't know that Jon thinks the boyfriend is imaginary.
Zack frowns into his coffee mug when he hears Ryan warbling in the bathroom, Backstreet Boys accompanied by a thick tropical scent. Nobody warned him Ryan had a date tonight; with luck that means it's somebody he's vetted (unlikely, unless it's somebody touring with them, and he's pretty sure he would have heard, tour gossip being what it is) or at least that Ryan isn't planning to take her out in public. He doesn't think the lounge has been booked as off-limits, though, which means another round of, "When the stalkers cut off your ear to keep under their pillows, it will not be my fault."
He sighs and puts another spoonful of sugar into his mug.
"Why so sad, Zack?" Brendon demands, looking curiously over his bowl of Fruity Pebbles. "Is the coffee full of tears?"
"I'm sick of lecturing you," Zack grumbles, reaching to swipe a piece of Spencer's toast off his plate.
"Me? Me? I haven't done anything wrong, have I? You already lectured me for the edible underwear incident, you don't get to do it twice, that was the rule!"
"Not you you." Zack rolls his eyes.
"Me, then?" Spencer asks. "Are you stealing my toast as a punishment for stealing your--" he breaks off. "I mean, am I in trouble?"
Zack groans inwardly and makes a mental note to inventory his emergency stash.
"Ryan didn't warn me he had a date tonight," he explains.
Spencer cocks his head and frowns. "Huh. He didn't tell me either."
And oh, Zack doesn't like the sound of that. He doesn't like the sound of that at all.
Before he can say so, however, there's a knock on the door of the bus. He goes to answer it, still frowning to himself. On the other side of the door is one of the the Hush Sound's techs--drum, he thinks--smoothing a nervous hand down the side of his head.
"Hey," the kid says uncertainly. "Ryan here?"
"Sure." He steps back to let the kid in. Maybe they're doubling. "Ryan!"
Ryan comes out of the bathroom, eyeliner painstakingly straight, clean white hoodie zipped over his chest. He halts and blinks uncertainly at the kid.
"Um. Hi."
"Hi."
They stare at each other shyly.
"Gonna introduce us, Ry?"
Zack whips around and stares at Spencer, whose voice has gone death-cold. Spencer doesn't talk to Ryan like that; that voice is reserved for Brendon's parents and Ryan's dad when he was alive and that sweet girl they'd run into in Maryland who broke Jon's heart when they were in middle school (Spencer holds grudges.) Spencer looks about ready to cut a bitch.
"Uh, yeah," Ryan says uncertainly. "Brendon, Spencer, Zack, this is Aaron. We're--he's--he's my boyfriend?"
Oh...kay.
Spencer's expression doesn't change. Zack guesses Spencer knew before Ryan opened his mouth.
He looks at Brendon, hoping for a reassuring eyebrow-conversation, something along the lines of they're just being pissy, it'll blow over, but Brendon looks like he's been slapped.
Apparently-Aaron looks happier, like he was doubting his right to be there until Ryan said it, but he flinches when Spencer says, "Nice to meet you."
In all fairness, Spencer sounds like he's really saying, "Thanks for letting me know where to aim."
Ryan goes over to Spencer, touches his shoulder, and they do their freaky mind-meld thing for a few seconds. Spencer's face softens a little, but he still looks over at Aaron in cold appraisal. The awkward silence stretches.
Ryan looks at Zack in appeal. Zack shrugs. What exactly does Ryan think he can do here, anyway?
Ryan makes his exasperated face, and turns to Brendon instead.
Brendon doesn't look shocked anymore, but hurt is bleeding out his pores, and Ryan looks horrified as well as bewildered. He pulls Brendon to him and whispers something in his ear. Brendon gives him a wobbly smile and nods reluctantly.
"So..." Aaron offers, awkward. "Should we go?"
"Yeah." Ryan smiles, just as awkward, and he drops his arms to his sides, goes to open the door like a gentleman for Aaron to pass through. Before he leaves the bus himself, he looks over his shoulder. "I'll talk to you guys later, all right?"
He doesn't wait for an answer.
When Jon gets back, an hour later, he finds Zack reading a book in the back lounge, where he fled the complicated quiet of the kitchen area.
"I take it Ryan's 'boyfriend' dropped by?"
*~*~*~*~*
The next morning, Ryan calls a band meeting.
Jon feels like he should be bringing popcorn.
They settle in the back lounge with the door closed, three of them squished onto the couch. Ryan sits on the floor in front of them, legs folded like a pretzel and hands clasped in his lap the way he sits when they play "Smile For Me," determined to be serious about this, to be taken seriously.
"I don't—I'm not really sure—I get that you guys are upset about this," he says, looking steadily at their knees, sounding out his phrasing carefully. "I'm not sure I get why, though."
Brendon and Spencer exchange a look, a glance heavy with all the things Jon had walked in on them not-saying last night.
"You didn't tell us," Brendon says, finally, looking down at his knuckles.
"We're your best friends, Ryan," Spencer adds. "We're your band. You don't get to keep this—this guys thing a secret. You don't get to keep your—your important people a secret. Not from us."
Ryan nods slowly. "Okay. Okay, I'm sorry. I won't—I'll tell you next time, if there is a next time, okay?"
"Okay," Brendon says, Spencer a beat behind him. Jon just nods. He's having a hard time keeping a straight face.
"Okay." Ryan smiles at them and gets up. "I'm going to get pretzels before the bus has to leave, you guys want anything?"
"We're good," Spencer assures him, smiling, and they all watch as Ryan leaves the room.
Brendon exhales dramatically and collapses across their laps. "If there's a next time? If? He's already that fucking sure of this Aaron guy?"
"I didn't like the look of him," Spencer says darkly. "I don't like it."
"Ryan's going to get hurt," Brendon agrees, eyes wide. "Hurt."
"No, he's not," Spencer reassures him, petting Brendon's head. "We just have to keep him away. The guy'll lose interest soon enough. I know Ryan, he isn't invested yet."
Brendon pursed his lips. "We need plans, Spencer. We need schemes to keep Ryan away from his new boyfriend."
"Of course we do. Jon, any ideas?"
"Just—" Jon's voice is coming out a little strangled. He clears his throat and starts again. "Just a minute, guys, I'll be right back."
He flees to the bathroom and locks himself in while he gets all the hysterical laughter out of his system. After about five minutes, he draws two long, shaky breaths, grins at himself in the mirror, and goes back.
Brendon and Spencer's heads are bent close together as they whisper urgently. They look up and smile at him.
"So I think Spencer should fake sick," he says, solemnly.
Brendon's face lights up. "Jon Walker, you're a genius!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Zack is carefully not noticing any changes on his bus.
He's got a rule—unless it escalates to placing them in the way of serious physical harm, he does not interfere between the artists. They're adults, and they are responsible for maintaining their private and professional relationships with one another.
Well, okay, no, technically they are babies who have made their living out of being melodramatic, but after two days the tattling was unbearable, so they're just having to grow up without his help.
Even when all of a sudden Spencer isn't fighting Ryan over which fast food place they stop at. Even when Brendon's starting conversations about the symbolism inherent in whatthefuckever. Even when Jon is constantly walking around with a disturbing smirk on his face. (Jon Walker is sly, okay, you can't let the weed and cat-loving fool you.)
Even when suddenly the Guitar Hero controllers are living in the cabinet under the TV, and all of the word games like Scrabble and Taboo and Scattergories are prominently displayed on the coffee table. Zack had been under the impression that Chris had been bribed with the last of Ryan's chocolate-covered coffee beans to leave the Scattergories box in that gas station in Nowhere, Nebraska while Spencer distracted Ryan with hockey reminiscences. Zack had been happy under that impression. There had sometimes been days at a time in which the unabridged dictionary went unopened.
(The worst of Ryan's word games obsession has always been his completely believable insistence that words like "quarzenous" exist. Zack put the unabridged dictionary on the list of tour essentials (under "extra fire extinguishers" and "crepe pan", but above "corn pads" and "tiara") after the infamous incident in which Ryan fleeced the entire crew out of a week's worth of booze through the strategic combination of a Scrabble board, Spencer's desire for sleep, and a supposed animal from the Amazonian basin. He got tired of the constant need to keep Ryan from standing under heavy objects.)
Zack seriously reconsiders his policy the fourth time he has to put up with Wentz calling his phone because Ryan's is missing and inexplicably set to "silent," but then he remembers the time Brendon complained that Spencer wouldn't lend him the underwear that didn't give him wedgies, and promises himself that he will be strong. Even in the face of Wentz opening conversations by having his dog pant into the phone.
*~*~*~*~*
So far, the plans have been working beautifully.
It's been a simple matter of keeping Ryan on their bus, in their crowd, and a more complicated matter of keeping him incapable of receiving text messages. (Really, the only reason that was complicated is that they've had to hide it from Zack. Zack was overheard telling Greta his plans for the person responsible for Pete's four a.m. calls, and Jon is very, very glad that Brendon was so paranoid when he drew up the battle plans. He has no desire to learn—or to watch Brendon or Spencer learn—exactly where the oboe comes into it.)
But between Zack's murderously thorough searches and Ryan's practically physical dependence on the damn Sidekick, he supposes it was inevitable that eventually, Aaron would get through. That's where plans C through G come in. Spencer was pretty confident that they wouldn't need any further than G, but Jon knows Brendon's secretly been holding H through N in reserve. (If it comes to it, Jon will have to veto K for the sake of Ryan's safety, and M because where are they going to get a fiberglass lion on short notice?)
Jon argued about the order of the plans, but Brendon was quite definite that a sick Spencer was going to be their most effective diversion, and the problem was, Jon agreed. He was just enjoying his excuse to whisper with Brendon in corners and exchange loaded glances with Spencer far too much to want to cut this thing off at the pass. He can see why Brendon and Spencer are more interested in an early resolution, of course--they get a Ryan out of the deal.
Though he's not quite sure they've realised that yet. (That's going to be even funnier.)
Ryan's humming in the tiny bathroom, and the godawful pineapple scent is seeping through the cracks.
Brendon sticks his head in from the bunk corridors and gives Jon an inquiring eyebrow. Jon jerks his head at the bathroom door and pulls his hair straight up from his head, makes a face. Brendon purses his lips and nods. He raises the other eyebrow. Jon rolls his eyes and nods back.
Brendon raises three fingers. Jon nods again. Brendon's chin jerks in sharp acknowledgement and he vanishes through the accordion doors.
Brendon makes an awesome generalissimo of secret plots, silent signals and all. Jon makes a mental note to compliment him later. For now, he has to get ready to divert Ryan's attention to the bunks.
He's still not sure of how, exactly, he's going to do that. Just do that thing you do, Brendon ordered him, when they were still in the planning stages. With the hair, and the ducking. And don't forget to smile!
But what do I say to him?
Just tell him you wanted to ask him something. With the hair.
But what about my ha-- but Brendon was already taking off in search of highlighters so he could color-code the supply lists.
And that's as far as I got. See, Jon lures Ryan back to the back of the bus, and Spencer's lying there "sick," and Ryan cancels on his boyfriend, and then there's another date or two where they stop Ryan getting off the bus, and Jon is all rejoicing in his success and shit, and then Jon actually meets Aaron somehow, face to face, and Aaron is all sad and hurt cause he thought Ryan REALLY LIKED HIM, and suddenly Jon is all, whoah, I've been a jackass! I wasn't thinking of you as, like, a person, with feelings.
And then he goes back and he says, we have to let Ryan do this, and he's all sad and ashamed, but Brendon and Spencer think it's because Jon was trying to distract Ryan for himself, because it's SO OBVIOUS that Ryan and Jon like each other, and so they go to Ryan and say, "break up with Aaron, because you're crushing Jon's SOUL", and Ryan's all REALLY? and he does, but he's nice about it so Aaron's okay, and then he goes to Jon and is all, kisses! and ILU! and Jon is all YAY! but also WTF? YOU LIKE BDEN AND SPENCE! And Ryan's all, yeah, but they don't like me, and Bden and Spencer have been seekritly spying, and they're all, NO! and WE DO! and then everybody's like WE LIKE EACH OTHER and then there is sexing.
The end.
In the end, Jon's only excuse will be that when Ryan told him? They were really, really, really high. Epically high. Worlds of fields of marijuana had died to achieve this level of stonery, and Jon thinks that this excuses any conclusions he jumped to.
When this is explained to him, Ryan will point out that this leaves Jon without an excuse for after they sobered up, but Jon doesn't really have an answer to that, except that in no universe has it ever made sense for Ryan to be in love with someone outside his band.
"He's really—really tiny, Jon," Ryan says languidly, trying (and failing) to blow heart-shaped smoke rings at the ceiling. "But he has these hips, right, and his neck looks awesome, it looks delicious, I want to snack on it all the time."
"Cool," Jon says, nodding exaggeratedly. In truth, he's become a little confused. Because the hips, the hips sound like Spencer, right, but Spencer isn't tiny, Spencer is, well, he's person-sized. And Brendon, Brendon is tiny, and he has an ass, Jon is so far from denying the ass, but hips not so much really, and he definitely doesn't know how to use them, not like Spencer.
"And when he plays--" Ryan breathes deep and holds the smoke for a minute. "When he plays I pretty much want to jump him right there in the middle of soundcheck. And his smile, Jon, his smile, I want him to smile all the time except when he's moaning my name. It lights up the whole world when he smiles."
And that doesn't help Jon at all, really it doesn't. He often wants to jump all of them on stage. While they're smiling. For all he knows, Ryan is talking about a crush on himself. Except Ryan really, really doesn't have hips. Like, at all. Jon doesn't know how Ryan sits down without cracking, like the song about hinges from his preschool days.
I'm all made of hinges cause everything BENDS from the top of my HEAD way down to my ENDS. I'm HINGES in FRONT and I'm HINGES in BACK, but I have to have HINGES or else I would--
"—I just, I don't know how to tell Brendon and Spencer, what do you think?"
Wait, what?
Jon's missed something.
There's a scene in here somewhere where Ryan is sober and refers to his boyfriend, and Jon is all, whoah, Ryan, didn't realise you'd created yourself an IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND who is the best of Brendon and Spencer all mixed together! I don't think you have to choose, dude, but if you're not man enough to speak up, whatever. Only in his head, so Ryan doesn't know that Jon thinks the boyfriend is imaginary.
Zack frowns into his coffee mug when he hears Ryan warbling in the bathroom, Backstreet Boys accompanied by a thick tropical scent. Nobody warned him Ryan had a date tonight; with luck that means it's somebody he's vetted (unlikely, unless it's somebody touring with them, and he's pretty sure he would have heard, tour gossip being what it is) or at least that Ryan isn't planning to take her out in public. He doesn't think the lounge has been booked as off-limits, though, which means another round of, "When the stalkers cut off your ear to keep under their pillows, it will not be my fault."
He sighs and puts another spoonful of sugar into his mug.
"Why so sad, Zack?" Brendon demands, looking curiously over his bowl of Fruity Pebbles. "Is the coffee full of tears?"
"I'm sick of lecturing you," Zack grumbles, reaching to swipe a piece of Spencer's toast off his plate.
"Me? Me? I haven't done anything wrong, have I? You already lectured me for the edible underwear incident, you don't get to do it twice, that was the rule!"
"Not you you." Zack rolls his eyes.
"Me, then?" Spencer asks. "Are you stealing my toast as a punishment for stealing your--" he breaks off. "I mean, am I in trouble?"
Zack groans inwardly and makes a mental note to inventory his emergency stash.
"Ryan didn't warn me he had a date tonight," he explains.
Spencer cocks his head and frowns. "Huh. He didn't tell me either."
And oh, Zack doesn't like the sound of that. He doesn't like the sound of that at all.
Before he can say so, however, there's a knock on the door of the bus. He goes to answer it, still frowning to himself. On the other side of the door is one of the the Hush Sound's techs--drum, he thinks--smoothing a nervous hand down the side of his head.
"Hey," the kid says uncertainly. "Ryan here?"
"Sure." He steps back to let the kid in. Maybe they're doubling. "Ryan!"
Ryan comes out of the bathroom, eyeliner painstakingly straight, clean white hoodie zipped over his chest. He halts and blinks uncertainly at the kid.
"Um. Hi."
"Hi."
They stare at each other shyly.
"Gonna introduce us, Ry?"
Zack whips around and stares at Spencer, whose voice has gone death-cold. Spencer doesn't talk to Ryan like that; that voice is reserved for Brendon's parents and Ryan's dad when he was alive and that sweet girl they'd run into in Maryland who broke Jon's heart when they were in middle school (Spencer holds grudges.) Spencer looks about ready to cut a bitch.
"Uh, yeah," Ryan says uncertainly. "Brendon, Spencer, Zack, this is Aaron. We're--he's--he's my boyfriend?"
Oh...kay.
Spencer's expression doesn't change. Zack guesses Spencer knew before Ryan opened his mouth.
He looks at Brendon, hoping for a reassuring eyebrow-conversation, something along the lines of they're just being pissy, it'll blow over, but Brendon looks like he's been slapped.
Apparently-Aaron looks happier, like he was doubting his right to be there until Ryan said it, but he flinches when Spencer says, "Nice to meet you."
In all fairness, Spencer sounds like he's really saying, "Thanks for letting me know where to aim."
Ryan goes over to Spencer, touches his shoulder, and they do their freaky mind-meld thing for a few seconds. Spencer's face softens a little, but he still looks over at Aaron in cold appraisal. The awkward silence stretches.
Ryan looks at Zack in appeal. Zack shrugs. What exactly does Ryan think he can do here, anyway?
Ryan makes his exasperated face, and turns to Brendon instead.
Brendon doesn't look shocked anymore, but hurt is bleeding out his pores, and Ryan looks horrified as well as bewildered. He pulls Brendon to him and whispers something in his ear. Brendon gives him a wobbly smile and nods reluctantly.
"So..." Aaron offers, awkward. "Should we go?"
"Yeah." Ryan smiles, just as awkward, and he drops his arms to his sides, goes to open the door like a gentleman for Aaron to pass through. Before he leaves the bus himself, he looks over his shoulder. "I'll talk to you guys later, all right?"
He doesn't wait for an answer.
When Jon gets back, an hour later, he finds Zack reading a book in the back lounge, where he fled the complicated quiet of the kitchen area.
"I take it Ryan's 'boyfriend' dropped by?"
*~*~*~*~*
The next morning, Ryan calls a band meeting.
Jon feels like he should be bringing popcorn.
They settle in the back lounge with the door closed, three of them squished onto the couch. Ryan sits on the floor in front of them, legs folded like a pretzel and hands clasped in his lap the way he sits when they play "Smile For Me," determined to be serious about this, to be taken seriously.
"I don't—I'm not really sure—I get that you guys are upset about this," he says, looking steadily at their knees, sounding out his phrasing carefully. "I'm not sure I get why, though."
Brendon and Spencer exchange a look, a glance heavy with all the things Jon had walked in on them not-saying last night.
"You didn't tell us," Brendon says, finally, looking down at his knuckles.
"We're your best friends, Ryan," Spencer adds. "We're your band. You don't get to keep this—this guys thing a secret. You don't get to keep your—your important people a secret. Not from us."
Ryan nods slowly. "Okay. Okay, I'm sorry. I won't—I'll tell you next time, if there is a next time, okay?"
"Okay," Brendon says, Spencer a beat behind him. Jon just nods. He's having a hard time keeping a straight face.
"Okay." Ryan smiles at them and gets up. "I'm going to get pretzels before the bus has to leave, you guys want anything?"
"We're good," Spencer assures him, smiling, and they all watch as Ryan leaves the room.
Brendon exhales dramatically and collapses across their laps. "If there's a next time? If? He's already that fucking sure of this Aaron guy?"
"I didn't like the look of him," Spencer says darkly. "I don't like it."
"Ryan's going to get hurt," Brendon agrees, eyes wide. "Hurt."
"No, he's not," Spencer reassures him, petting Brendon's head. "We just have to keep him away. The guy'll lose interest soon enough. I know Ryan, he isn't invested yet."
Brendon pursed his lips. "We need plans, Spencer. We need schemes to keep Ryan away from his new boyfriend."
"Of course we do. Jon, any ideas?"
"Just—" Jon's voice is coming out a little strangled. He clears his throat and starts again. "Just a minute, guys, I'll be right back."
He flees to the bathroom and locks himself in while he gets all the hysterical laughter out of his system. After about five minutes, he draws two long, shaky breaths, grins at himself in the mirror, and goes back.
Brendon and Spencer's heads are bent close together as they whisper urgently. They look up and smile at him.
"So I think Spencer should fake sick," he says, solemnly.
Brendon's face lights up. "Jon Walker, you're a genius!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Zack is carefully not noticing any changes on his bus.
He's got a rule—unless it escalates to placing them in the way of serious physical harm, he does not interfere between the artists. They're adults, and they are responsible for maintaining their private and professional relationships with one another.
Well, okay, no, technically they are babies who have made their living out of being melodramatic, but after two days the tattling was unbearable, so they're just having to grow up without his help.
Even when all of a sudden Spencer isn't fighting Ryan over which fast food place they stop at. Even when Brendon's starting conversations about the symbolism inherent in whatthefuckever. Even when Jon is constantly walking around with a disturbing smirk on his face. (Jon Walker is sly, okay, you can't let the weed and cat-loving fool you.)
Even when suddenly the Guitar Hero controllers are living in the cabinet under the TV, and all of the word games like Scrabble and Taboo and Scattergories are prominently displayed on the coffee table. Zack had been under the impression that Chris had been bribed with the last of Ryan's chocolate-covered coffee beans to leave the Scattergories box in that gas station in Nowhere, Nebraska while Spencer distracted Ryan with hockey reminiscences. Zack had been happy under that impression. There had sometimes been days at a time in which the unabridged dictionary went unopened.
(The worst of Ryan's word games obsession has always been his completely believable insistence that words like "quarzenous" exist. Zack put the unabridged dictionary on the list of tour essentials (under "extra fire extinguishers" and "crepe pan", but above "corn pads" and "tiara") after the infamous incident in which Ryan fleeced the entire crew out of a week's worth of booze through the strategic combination of a Scrabble board, Spencer's desire for sleep, and a supposed animal from the Amazonian basin. He got tired of the constant need to keep Ryan from standing under heavy objects.)
Zack seriously reconsiders his policy the fourth time he has to put up with Wentz calling his phone because Ryan's is missing and inexplicably set to "silent," but then he remembers the time Brendon complained that Spencer wouldn't lend him the underwear that didn't give him wedgies, and promises himself that he will be strong. Even in the face of Wentz opening conversations by having his dog pant into the phone.
*~*~*~*~*
So far, the plans have been working beautifully.
It's been a simple matter of keeping Ryan on their bus, in their crowd, and a more complicated matter of keeping him incapable of receiving text messages. (Really, the only reason that was complicated is that they've had to hide it from Zack. Zack was overheard telling Greta his plans for the person responsible for Pete's four a.m. calls, and Jon is very, very glad that Brendon was so paranoid when he drew up the battle plans. He has no desire to learn—or to watch Brendon or Spencer learn—exactly where the oboe comes into it.)
But between Zack's murderously thorough searches and Ryan's practically physical dependence on the damn Sidekick, he supposes it was inevitable that eventually, Aaron would get through. That's where plans C through G come in. Spencer was pretty confident that they wouldn't need any further than G, but Jon knows Brendon's secretly been holding H through N in reserve. (If it comes to it, Jon will have to veto K for the sake of Ryan's safety, and M because where are they going to get a fiberglass lion on short notice?)
Jon argued about the order of the plans, but Brendon was quite definite that a sick Spencer was going to be their most effective diversion, and the problem was, Jon agreed. He was just enjoying his excuse to whisper with Brendon in corners and exchange loaded glances with Spencer far too much to want to cut this thing off at the pass. He can see why Brendon and Spencer are more interested in an early resolution, of course--they get a Ryan out of the deal.
Though he's not quite sure they've realised that yet. (That's going to be even funnier.)
Ryan's humming in the tiny bathroom, and the godawful pineapple scent is seeping through the cracks.
Brendon sticks his head in from the bunk corridors and gives Jon an inquiring eyebrow. Jon jerks his head at the bathroom door and pulls his hair straight up from his head, makes a face. Brendon purses his lips and nods. He raises the other eyebrow. Jon rolls his eyes and nods back.
Brendon raises three fingers. Jon nods again. Brendon's chin jerks in sharp acknowledgement and he vanishes through the accordion doors.
Brendon makes an awesome generalissimo of secret plots, silent signals and all. Jon makes a mental note to compliment him later. For now, he has to get ready to divert Ryan's attention to the bunks.
He's still not sure of how, exactly, he's going to do that. Just do that thing you do, Brendon ordered him, when they were still in the planning stages. With the hair, and the ducking. And don't forget to smile!
But what do I say to him?
Just tell him you wanted to ask him something. With the hair.
But what about my ha-- but Brendon was already taking off in search of highlighters so he could color-code the supply lists.
And that's as far as I got. See, Jon lures Ryan back to the back of the bus, and Spencer's lying there "sick," and Ryan cancels on his boyfriend, and then there's another date or two where they stop Ryan getting off the bus, and Jon is all rejoicing in his success and shit, and then Jon actually meets Aaron somehow, face to face, and Aaron is all sad and hurt cause he thought Ryan REALLY LIKED HIM, and suddenly Jon is all, whoah, I've been a jackass! I wasn't thinking of you as, like, a person, with feelings.
And then he goes back and he says, we have to let Ryan do this, and he's all sad and ashamed, but Brendon and Spencer think it's because Jon was trying to distract Ryan for himself, because it's SO OBVIOUS that Ryan and Jon like each other, and so they go to Ryan and say, "break up with Aaron, because you're crushing Jon's SOUL", and Ryan's all REALLY? and he does, but he's nice about it so Aaron's okay, and then he goes to Jon and is all, kisses! and ILU! and Jon is all YAY! but also WTF? YOU LIKE BDEN AND SPENCE! And Ryan's all, yeah, but they don't like me, and Bden and Spencer have been seekritly spying, and they're all, NO! and WE DO! and then everybody's like WE LIKE EACH OTHER and then there is sexing.
The end.
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-23 03:54 am (UTC)(IS THERE NO HOPE OF THIS EVER BEING FINISHED?)
no subject
Date: 2009-12-23 11:12 am (UTC)In all fairness, Spencer sounds like he's really saying, "Thanks for letting me know where to aim."
HEEEEE!
also, i'm so glad that one ended in gsf. YAY GSF!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-24 04:47 pm (UTC)AHAHAHAHAHAHA, I LOVE THIS.
this was awesome. i could've read a lot more!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 10:55 am (UTC)