Lu Hallulat ([identity profile] elucreh.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] lu_fics2007-11-19 12:49 am

Common Knowledge Ch. 5--Fic

Title: Common Knowledge
Author: [livejournal.com profile] elucreh
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Summary: Jared, your fangirls. Fangirls, I believe you already know Jared. Better than he knows himself.
Notes: Obviously, they belong to each other. Extended notes following epilogue.

:: 1—The Con-going Fangirl :: 2—Filk :: 3—Fanreports :: 4—The Everyday Fangirl :: 5—Fic :: 6—The Fangirl Online :: 7—Rose-Colored Interviews :: 8—The Fangirl On-Set ::Epilogue: The Kripked Fangirl::



CHAPTER FIVE: Fic

The alarm jolts him out of an uneasy doze at four. Jared had intended to set it to sleep for half an hour two or three times before actually getting out of bed, as a way of easing into his stupid shooting schedule, but he knows immediately there's no point to it. The Rachel Problem isn't going to let him get any more shuteye.

Growling and muttering under his breath, he rolls off the bed and viciously pokes the power button on his computer.

The journal is still in his history and he sits and stares at Sam, who glares back at him, uncompromising. For a moment, he finds himself wishing that Sam weren't quite so stubborn—which is insane. He shakes himself and his eye lands on the little link in the sidebar.

...He should know what she might be thinking, shouldn't he? Just in case she is...crazy.

The thought makes him feel guilty as hell—this is Rachel, she's his friend, she's not crazy, but...Seeing things that aren't there qualifies as crazy, doesn't it?

BitchfaceTM's del.icio.us account looks like anybody else's, with a list of tags down the side, and the first one is "au." He can use wikipedia, same as anybody, and it turns up "alternate universe." Like the djinn thing. Okay. So...not really about them, maybe?

The first story he clicks, about all their friends as superheroes, has him grinning in about six paragraphs. By the time he gets to Chad's utility belt, complete with lube, he's only hoping his sniggering isn't waking anybody. When he gets to Mike's codename, he's laughing so hard that the dogs come skittering into the room, and he has to stop and pat them until they're sure he's all right. And yeah, okay, towards the end there's some more of that sexin'-with-Jensen—and oh god, that rhymes—but it isn't mushy or anything and hell, if they're all this good, he can skim.

*~*~*

Jensen eyes his friend warily.

They've been back on set for a month now, and Jared's on a new kick. A dangerous one, because it's secret, more like the peanut butter incident than a new video game they have to beat or Jared's months-long campaign to make every person he knew put change in those little orphan boxes at supermarkets. Only worse, because at least he told Jensen about the peanut butter. This time, so far as Jensen can tell, he hasn't told a soul. Not even Sandy, when Jensen called her, although she's anxious, too. Not even Jensen.

It's the random little things that worry him the most...strange things are making Jared laugh nowadays. There's nothing that funny about Dancing with the Stars, for instance. And as for Jared's hovering every time Jensen had to talk to his uncle about his dad's surprise party, Jensen doesn't even want to try to guess what that was about.

At least Jared's still talking about six times as much and ten times as fast as a normal person, though. This means that a) he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong and b) he might let something slip, thank god.

Jared's snort when Tom left for the bathroom a few minutes after Mike has Jensen seriously worried, though. Surely he didn't booby-trap the urinals...

"Jensen!" Jared declaims, waving his beer around, almost hitting his friend in the eye. "Jensen, my dearest friend."

"Yes, Jared?" he says mildly, pushing Jared's bottle away from his face.

Jared leans in close, looking deep into Jensen's eyes, rolling the mouth of his beer against his lip absently. "You—you are my very. Best. Friend."

"Thank you."

"I wish we had gone to college together." Jared slings an arm around his shoulders, plants a giant paw over Jensen's heart.

"Me, too, Jared."

"You—are the model to my artist, the samurai to my shogun, the dogsitter to my movie star, the nobody to my shadow." He gets even closer and touches his beer to the tip of Jensen's nose, his breath heavy with beer and salt, and Jensen freezes. "You, my friend, are the cop to my teacher." He leans back and wraps his lips around the mouth of the bottle, throat working as the condensation slides from glass to lip to chin and down over the side.

Okay, so Jared's metaphors aren't making sense and Jensen's started being fascinated by tiny details. He'd better get them both out of there before Tom has another dust mote story to tell.

*~*~*

It's late, the last scene of the day, and everyone's stressed and worn.

"Hey, I can be classy." Dean burps loudly, and gets a thoughtful expression on his face. "Huh. Onions."

“Don't worry, baby,” drawls Sam. “I'll still kiss you in the morning.”

There's a moment of stunned silence before the director yells, "CUT!"


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[identity profile] juice817.livejournal.com 2007-12-07 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
*completely fucking dies*
pie_andcoffee: (jared is sexx)

[personal profile] pie_andcoffee 2007-12-07 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG YAY!!

So this is why Jared said in Chicago: (paraphrased cuz my memory is shit), "I don't know anything about [fanfic] and I sure as hell wouldn't read it, cuz, like, I'd be saying my lines and alluva sudden realize WAIT. THIS ISN'T ERIC'S SCRIPT I'VE MEMORIZED OMG!!"

[identity profile] dividedloyalty.livejournal.com 2007-12-07 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Thhis is so awesome I'm hurting from laughing so hard!

"You—are the model to my artist, the samurai to my shogun, the dogsitter to my movie star, the nobody to my shadow." He gets even closer and touches his beer to the tip of Jensen's nose, his breath heavy with beer and salt, and Jensen freezes. "You, my friend, are the cop to my teacher."

I don't know if I should feel proud or scared that I recognize all this...

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/amy_star_/ 2007-12-08 10:43 am (UTC)(link)
"Hey, I can be classy." Dean burps loudly, and gets a thoughtful expression on his face. "Huh. Onions."

“Don't worry, baby,” drawls Sam. “I'll still kiss you in the morning.”

There's a moment of stunned silence before the director yells, "CUT!"


OMG I almost PEED myself reading that!

[identity profile] elektrik-storm.livejournal.com 2007-12-08 03:48 pm (UTC)(link)
this has me laughing so much! i have read every one of those fics you mention! poor jensen!!!! :P
ext_21638: (Default)

[identity profile] spae.livejournal.com 2007-12-11 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
*muffled amusement in the library*

[identity profile] fromyourashes.livejournal.com 2007-12-11 06:40 pm (UTC)(link)
*DIES A MILLION DEATHS*

I am CHUCKLING. OUT LOUD.

Oh, so much HAPPY, so freaking hilarous.
ext_17041: (Default)

[identity profile] bonbonschnecke.livejournal.com 2007-12-11 07:38 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHAHAHAHAHA


Don't worry, baby,” drawls Sam. “I'll still kiss you in the morning.”

There's a moment of stunned silence before the director yells, "CUT!"


That was fucking great!

[identity profile] paraserpiente.livejournal.com 2007-12-12 08:43 am (UTC)(link)
HA. hahahhahahaha. I am....in shock-and-awe. *continues reading*

[identity profile] rhianne.livejournal.com 2007-12-12 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh dear God...I'm reading this series at work, and I hurt from trying to hold in the hysterical laughter. Three people have already asked me what I'm reading and I'm having to lie like a cheap rug but I. Cannot. Look. Away. This is just brilliant!!!

[identity profile] fluffyllama.livejournal.com 2007-12-16 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
“Don't worry, baby,” drawls Sam. “I'll still kiss you in the morning.”

There's a moment of stunned silence before the director yells, "CUT!"


Okay, so I haven't managed to locate that cup of tea yet... could be dangerous while reading this!

And I really hope you provide a list of the fics you're referencing at some point - I recognise some but not all!
ext_17092: heart shaped flames (Default)

[identity profile] gestaltrose.livejournal.com 2008-01-18 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
LMAO GO SAMMY!!!!

[identity profile] huntress69.livejournal.com 2008-02-10 06:31 pm (UTC)(link)
"You—are the model to my artist, the samurai to my shogun, the dogsitter to my movie star, the nobody to my shadow."

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! (Nuff said there!)

[identity profile] 9thof9.livejournal.com 2008-02-11 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
“Don't worry, baby,” drawls Sam. “I'll still kiss you in the morning.”

There's a moment of stunned silence before the director yells, "CUT!"


Shit like that has to make the gag reel someday.

[identity profile] unna-rainchaser.livejournal.com 2008-02-12 08:17 pm (UTC)(link)
my husbands sleeping right next to me, I keep biting my left index finger, but i think my laugh-shaking body will wake him up XD
it's just TOO good!

[identity profile] halfshellvenus.livejournal.com 2008-02-15 07:12 am (UTC)(link)
“Don't worry, baby,” drawls Sam. “I'll still kiss you in the morning.”

Hahaha! Awesome comeback. :D

This part, He'd better get them both out of there before Tom has another dust mote story to tell. is just so random, and hints of the inexplicable horrors of boredom that Tom's company can entail. It's just perfect.

[identity profile] rasah.livejournal.com 2008-05-27 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
this is just brilliant. also - do all those au's exist? cause they sound great too!

[identity profile] slash-freak-oz.livejournal.com 2008-08-02 08:02 am (UTC)(link)
Dude!! I think I've actually read the superhero fic...if it's the one with Jensen on the motorcycle and won't take off his helmet!

*can't stop laughing at Sam's line* Whoopsie doodle!!!

[identity profile] animeartistjo.livejournal.com 2008-09-08 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
This is my fifth time or so rereading this, and I figured your examples are based on real, popular, J2 fic. I recognize most of them, but could you give info on the one that has Jared as a teacher to Jensen's cop?

Thank you so much!

[identity profile] entr0ki.livejournal.com 2009-01-18 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
That's so going on the blooper reel.

[identity profile] helenahndbskt.livejournal.com 2009-05-21 06:29 am (UTC)(link)
I was cruising J2_rec and this was one of the fics linked there. Dude, I loved the whole thing, with Jared falling deeper and deeper into fandom on the sly, the dawning realization about his feelings, Jensen too, all the humor, the kiss at the con, just everything!

In this chap I not only LOL'ed, I *snorted*. At this bit especially:

"Hey, I can be classy." Dean burps loudly, and gets a thoughtful expression on his face. "Huh. Onions."

“Don't worry, baby,” drawls Sam. “I'll still kiss you in the morning.”

There's a moment of stunned silence before the director yells, "CUT!"


Thank you for such an excellent and fun story, I'm sure I'll return to this one often.

[identity profile] akayalovesyaoi.livejournal.com 2009-07-13 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
*cracks up*
I-I can't stop laughing, this is hilarious, completelly hilarious XD XD XD
ext_3554: dream wolf (Default)

[identity profile] keerawa.livejournal.com 2010-02-24 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
Freaking hilarious! Jared with his AU 'metaphors' and then that final scene. CUT!

[identity profile] anime-freak198.livejournal.com 2010-06-17 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
"Hey, I can be classy." Dean burps loudly, and gets a thoughtful expression on his face. "Huh. Onions."

“Don't worry, baby,” drawls Sam. “I'll still kiss you in the morning.”

There's a moment of stunned silence before the director yells, "CUT!"

i think i has died and gone to fangirl heaven!!!!.....well as close as i can get to fangirl heaven, X3 omgs, im laughing so hard my mom is giving me funny looks, and wants tuh knw wats making me laugh so much. which (of course) just makes me laugh harder XDDDD

lol

[identity profile] braincloud2.livejournal.com 2010-12-09 12:17 pm (UTC)(link)
this had me laughing so hard by the end, I actually had to get up from the computer and lie down until I'd stopped
XDDD

[identity profile] forever-lost2u.livejournal.com 2010-12-20 06:29 am (UTC)(link)
Omg the last line... Bahahahaha I'm practically rolling on the floor right now. You are awesome.

[identity profile] straspberry.livejournal.com 2011-03-04 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
I'm far beyond trying to stop myself. I'M DYING LAUGHING :D Finally my bf woke up and asked me what I was doing :D OMG this, this .. this fic is awesome!!! Totally can imagine every second of it becoming true :D